hardest to deal with. They can be extremely challenging, because
they lack the ability to see life clearly and accurately, and to deal
with it. They lack the ability to handle anger, disappointment, guilt,
resentment, fear, jealousy, disappointment, grief, insecurity, and a
myriad of other feelings appropriately.
2. Sex Before Marriage. Research using brain scans now shows
powerful chemicals are released during sex that should create a
powerful, everlasting bond.
"During sex with a men, women's brain secretes oxytocin that causes
them to bond emotionally to that man. This chemical is so
overwhelming in a woman's brain that just a 20-second hug can
cause a female to become bonded to a male.
Both sexes get addictive doses of the pleasure-chemical dopamine
that works out well for couples out to create lifelong marriages and
stable families but the bonding, which acts like adhesive tape is
weakened when people tear away power by breaking off with a sexual
partner and moving on from one to another to another.
This destroys the ability to bond with one's spouse permanently
because the brain actually gets molded to not accept that deep
emotional level that's so important for marriage.
3. Feminism. These movement have successfully convinced some
ladies that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grands were like
slaves in their marriage. It has also convinced them that males are
animals and women-beaters so any time there is a little
misunderstanding in a marriage, the negative instinct that these
teaching installed in the ladies will alert them that the animal is
about to attack and whatever defense mechanism they have
developed will be applied in full force. This is why many little
misunderstandings ends in a fight.
4. Wrong Foundation. Anything build on a wrong foundation will not
last. Most marriages fail not because the people involved are not
willing to make it work but because it was built on a wrong
foundation. Example of these foundations is "My Pastor or Prophet
Said". Sometimes people marry because of a pastor's vision,
prophecy or their own dream instead of because of love.
Secondly women do meet their their pastors prophet or whoever they
have as a spiritual father for special prayers, jazz or concoctions
that will help them get a guy. Likewise guys, they meet these thieves
also for jazz or concoction. Such marriage dies once the jazz wears
off
5. Putting Our Wants first Before Our Needs. We lack seriously here,
We do not take time to know what our partner really needs. Ofcourse
every body wants to live in large house, ride nice car, go on
vacations etc but first; humans needs to be loved, cared for,
appreciated, respected, listened to, etc. When you are busy chasing
after the wants, your partner is likely to fall for whoever satisfies his
or her need.
6. Copying Others and Listening To Their Advice. A marriage is
doomed to fail once we start listening to the advice of outsiders or
copying them. When you listen to foolish advices on your
relationship from a friend whose sole objective maybe to destroy
your marriage or from a man hater or woman hater, you will cease to
love your partner.
You will start tearing him/her down with you words. Respect in the
marriage will jump the fence, seeking his/her opinion on an issue
becomes unncesarry because his/her judgment cannot be trusted by
you.
7. Not Setting Priorities Right, Not Researching Background and
Wrong Mindset. People no longer make working with their spouse to
get a good family their priority.
Secondly some don't research their family backgrounds to know
about his/her family. They act based on love for the guy or girl. A
family's background such as honesty, integrity, modesty and other
good morals should be considered before tying the knot.
Finally there are some who see marriage as a rest zone. A never
ending party where their partner will also do things that will please
them. They are always looking for easy comfort. If there is a little
problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.
I Know Of Other Things Like, Lies, Cheating, Beating, drunkeness, lack
of trust, Marrying just to be married or seen as a married person etc
but those things are expected when you are running fast in a wrong
lane.
